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Bonnie’s Laurie Allen Tribute

My Space

 

 

Operator Funnies

 

This page is dedicated to Denise Peters an operator from the old Preston Telephone Exchange who always said she was going to write a book about the funny things that came from the Telephone Exchange…

 

 

 

Caller to Early Morning Call Operator:  I have a call booked for 6am tomorrow morning, could you please ring soflty so you don’t wake

                                                             every-one else up. J

 

Caller to Male Operator:  oh you’re a man, I ‘ve never had a man before L

 

Caller in Pay Phone…. I just got my  (censored) stuck in the slot.

Operator….  Press Button B you will receive a refund. L

 

Caller To Trunk line Operator…. I am making scones can you tell me if I use plain flour or self raising flour. J

 

Caller to Payphone Operator…I am inserting five 20cents for 3minutes and 10cents in for you dear…. J

 

Caller To Operator… My phone just rang and I didn’t get to it in time could you tell me who was ringing me please. J

 

Caller To Operator…I have been trying to ring my friend who has a silent number, could you please ring the number so she can hear it… J

 

Caller…I am trying to ring my friend but she is not answering could you check her number please.

Operator…That number is in order it is just not answering.

Caller…But that can’t be right there is always some-one there.

Operator…I am Sorry that number is in order it is just not answering.

Caller…There must be something wrong the dog is always there…. J

 

Caller…Operator my sister is deaf and often doesn’t hear the phone could you ring louder please… J

 

Caller… Could you give me Fred Smiths Number please.

Operator.. What address please.

Caller..I’m not sure of the address but it is the red house next to the shop and he has a little dog  J.

                                                                                 Denise Peters  Preston Exchange

 

Caller…. Could I have the number for Fred Smith 67 Bogs Lane Black Stump please.

Operator… I am sorry that is a silent number.

CallerNo that can’t be right I heard it ring the last time I was there…. J

 

Every Operator, every exchange, every day, every hour, year after year.

Caller… What Colour Knickers are you wearing? J

 

Caller to Directory Operator wanting a number for the Ling-er-ree shop…… the lingerie shop.

                                                                        The Gross-vern-nor Hotel     The Grosvener Hotel

Caller to Directory Operator in a very feint, inaudible voice wanting a number for The VD clinic listed under “Communicable Diseases”

Operator. .In a nice loud clear voice “did you want the VD clinic?”    J

 

Operator to callers in telephone box I guess to relieve boredom would ask where they bought the nice top they were wearing

Callers… would nearly always respond with where they purchased what they were wearing….(no webcams in those days J)

 

In the papers when Directory used phone books an Operator was flicking through looking for a name when the pages were new,hot off the press and sharp as a knife.

Operator…flick flick flick--shit

Caller…Pardon, did you find the number?

Operator..No, I just cut my finger

 Caller….Do you need a doctor?

Operator….No I’m fine Thank you

Caller ….. I can look up a doctor in the phone book for you if you need one….  J

                                                                                         Thank you RS from Hawthorn/Preston exchanges

The Telephone Operators Worst Nightmare…..

             “Observation, what is your name please?’

                                                   Bonnie City West/Preston Exchanges J

 

Caller to Service Difficulties Operator….. I am having trouble with my phone

Operator…. What sort of phone are you using?

Caller…. it’s black !   J

 

Operators used to get a little bored with saying “Number Please” all day, every day so there were a few  operators that would at times

 Would answer  by saying “Rubber Knees” instead, just to be funny but I think  the customers were also just so used to operators and their “ number Please” they never seemed to even notice...

                                                     Diane (Tippett) City West Exchange.

 

Caller…. Hello operator, are you on the line….you better get off the train is coming…..

                                                      Ronda Heckman….City West/Preston

 

 

 

If any-one has any more they can remember and would like it posted please let me know… bonnie@laurieallen.net